What WorXX: Why Women with Children Should Pursue Their Careers Even More

With my first child, the HR manager told me that I probably wouldn't want a leadership position after giving birth.

With my second child, the company sent me a standard letter just before delivery, stating that I wouldn't have the right to my previous position after my parental leave.

Before my third child, my boss told me that I surely wouldn't want to get pregnant again. During the pregnancy, I changed companies.

It was always clear to me that I wanted to balance children and career. But if I hadn't had so much support – from mentors, my husband, my parents – I would have quit dozens of times.

In this sense, it's not surprising that 72 percent of women in leadership positions have no children – and women with children too often fall off the career ladder. Economically, this is a disaster. Women are highly educated, but when it comes to balancing children and career, they struggle. A whitepaper by Advance shows that women interrupt their careers for an average of 12 months after the first child. After that, only 66 percent return at the same career level, and 57 percent work part-time thereafter. And it's precisely at this moment, when women become pregnant for the first time, that action must be taken to retain more women in the workforce and in top positions.

What can we change together? Here's a five-point plan against the postpartum blues in business:

1. We need encouragers, not fearmongers. The response of employers, team leaders, HR, and mentors is often crucial to a woman's trajectory after pregnancy. I was very insecure during this phase and doubted my abilities. This is where we need female bosses and HR managers who encourage women that they can excel in a top job even with children. Mothers are incredibly efficient, and when employers support them well during this critical phase, they are also very loyal. So, whenever you encounter a pregnant woman who is unsure if she can continue the same work afterward, encourage her!
2. We need honest role models. What is it like to balance children and a career? I know: often very challenging, but also very fulfilling. Do women talk honestly about this? Very rarely, and usually not publicly. Yet, sharing experiences on this topic is crucial: How do you organize childcare? Are you sometimes completely exhausted in the morning before even leaving the house? Nowadays, I can talk and laugh about these issues with my colleagues and employees. At first, I thought I wasn't strong enough. But I've learned how important it is to honestly exchange experiences, both the good and the bad – and also, as a boss, to share your own challenges.
3. We need equal rules – for men and women. "I'm coming in later today because I'm dropping my child off at daycare." I've often seen: Men are celebrated for their involvement in the family. For women, it's said: She can't handle her family life. The same reflex occurs when men want to end meetings by 4 p.m. so they can cook at home. Everyone needs to rethink this. Balancing work and family responsibilities is essential for both men and women; this should be a given by now.
4. We need less perfectionism. In our social-first world, we're surrounded by perfect families, perfectly designed and tidy homes, perfect women. Is that reality? Not the one I know. I'm extremely grateful for media like ellexx and the blog "AnyWorkingMom," which present a realistic picture against perfectionism. And we women also need to stop putting ourselves under pressure. So what if the apartment isn't perfectly tidy or the pants aren't ironed? Does the world end because of it? Certainly not. We often fail due to our own standards.
5. Do we need more part-time work? Yes, we do. Women can lead a team even part-time. However, I caution against a certain part-time trap when it comes to wages. Women often significantly reduce their workload after giving birth: however, they still work 80 to 100 percent – without being paid for it. I was also one of these women until I had a boss who offered to increase my workload from 80 to 100 percent and allowed me to stay home one afternoon a week. Suddenly, the ratio of pay to work was right again. Ask yourselves: How much do you work – and how much are you paid for your work?

The fact is: We need more mothers in leadership positions. The shortage of skilled workers is at a record high, with 50 percent of vacant positions potentially being filled by women. And mothers would like to work more. This is shown in a whitepaper by EqualVoice and the Boston Consulting Group. If each of us starts implementing just one of the five points from tomorrow onwards, hopefully, it will soon become commonplace to have both children AND a career.